We like to indulge and treat ourselves while we socialize. It is part of the festivity and the fun to have seconds or splurge on dessert. But for some folks, navigating the table at a social gathering is a bit more complicated. Allergies and food sensitivities not only limit what they can eat, but it can also make allergy sufferers feel left out of the fellowship, unfortunately. Some may downplay their feelings, or others may simply turn down invitations to avoid dealing with the situation. As family and friends of allergy sufferers, we want to be good hosts to all of our guests, but sometimes we aren’t sure how to go about it.
Here are 5 tips for allergy friendly entertaining to remember next time you host a social gathering:
1. Communicate with Your Guests
Start off by having a conversation with any guests (or parents in the case of children) who have allergies or food sensitivities, and let them know that you want to do all that you can to accommodate them. Get a list of all of the foods they need to avoid and the safest foods for them to consume. If there are allergies involved, you should definitely have a discussion about cross contamination or cross contact. For someone who has a severe allergy or celiac disease, even small food particles can make them sick, meaning that you will need to wash prep areas and prep tools carefully. In some cases, you may even need to use a separate set of prep tools to be safe. Find out what practices they follow in their home. If they are still nervous about the safety of food prepared outside their home, then find out what types of prepackaged foods you can provide or find out if they are willing to bring a safe dish from their home.
However, you need to talk to all of your guests. Not just those with allergies. Many guests will ask if they can bring something to the party, but this could cause major complications for your allergic guests. You can ask others to bring non-food items (paper products, decorations, etc.) instead of food to ensure safety. Politely inform other guests of your intention to make the gathering allergy friendly, and share with them some practices that will help you meet this goal, such as thorough hand washing before touching any food.
2. Do a Little Research Before Cooking
At the very least, research and learn about the allergy or sensitivity from which your friend or family member suffers. Having background knowledge will help you as you prepare for the party. Keep a running dialogue with your guest, and don’t be afraid to ask them questions. A great place to start is to find out their favorite cookbook or recipes before you set the menu (here are some of our favorites). Consult this article describing what cross-contact is and this one describing examples of safe and non-safe practices.
As you start purchasing food, be especially careful to check all of the labels. Turkey is a popular item to serve around the holiday, but many of them contain additives and flavorings that contain allergens or inflammatory ingredients. Be sure to choose one that is all-natural and contains only turkey with nothing added.
3. Clearly Label Foods
If you are serving prepackaged foods from the store (even meats, such as turkey, ham, etc.) save the labels for reference in case there is a question later. Make sure that each food you serve is clearly labeled, especially if you are going to have safe and non-safe foods at the same party. You may even consider setting up two separate tables to avoid any accidental cross-contact or spills.
If you are serving a sit-down meal, consider providing guests with a menu card (practical AND fancy!) clearly labeling foods that are safe for those with allergies or let guests know ahead of time so they can pass on dishes they can’t eat. Again, communication is key.
4. Consider Non-Food Centered Festivities or Treats
If you are dead set on putting in the effort to throw an allergy-friendly gathering and all of your guests agree, then that is fantastic! But you may be reading and thinking that perhaps you don’t really have the ability to make the party as safe as it needs to be. Consider this: food does not have to be the center of your festivities! There are so many other ways to celebrate besides food. Here are a few ideas:
- Host an arts and crafts night (such as making holiday ornaments).
- Host a gift exchange, white elephant, or Favorite Things party. (No food gifts obviously.)
- Get together to show love to others. Visit someone who is lonely or serve someone who has a need, and gather around this activity.
- Host a game night or movie night.
- For children, host a pajama party and read holiday stories or watch a holiday movie. (Ok, adults can do this too!)
- Organize a special girls shopping excursion.
Try to plan your event at a time of day when food is not the focus or maybe not even necessary (i.e. mid-morning, afternoon, late at night, etc.) With the focus not on the food, it might be a lot more doable for you to provide a few simple and safe snacks and drinks or for your guest with allergies to inconspicuously bring their own snack or just abstain.
5. Don’t Be Offended by a “No, Thank You”
Even if you put forth your best effort with the best of intentions, your friend or family member may still say no to your invitation. Try not to be discouraged or offended. Your loved one needs to do what is best for their physical and emotional health, even if it means saying no for a time. It may be that their allergy (or that of their child) is quite severe and they do not want to take any risks. I recently heard a school teacher tell some children at my church, “It is never a good day to go to the emergency room.” And I think these words definitely apply.
A recent diagnosis could make social situations difficult for them emotionally, even if there are safe foods present. For the parent of a child with allergies, they may just not have the energy to deal with a child who is struggling emotionally with food restrictions around the holidays. Don’t put pressure on them if they are resistant. Be understanding. Be supportive. And try to find other ways to show them that you care.